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Dropping In

It's been a while since I've written, but this semester is slowly coming to an end, so I'll have more free time to write. I celebrated my 21st birthday on October 14th, Masha'Allah. I used to drink before becoming Muslim, so it's a challenge now that I'm 21 and I'm in college, but I'm managing well. My group M.O.S.U. hasn't come to full circle yet, I've had so much on my plate with my radio show [Mondays and Fridays WRAM 90.5] that I haven't found an adviser. Next semester I hope to have more time to find an advisor, Insha'Allah. Along with my radio show, I am a mentor, I'm a part of CLMC [campus life marketing committee], and I plan on trying out for flag girl in the spring. This Muslimah is doing it all! :-)

Salaams

New Friend!

So today I made a new friend. His name's Davin and I just happened to have lunch with him and find out that he is also Muslim! Second person I've found on campus now. My group is coming together slowly, but surely lol. Davin's a very nice guy and he's a knowledgeable Muslim.

I also got my translated Quran and my prayer rug in the mail today!! (better late than never)

M.O.S.U.

So I spotted another muslimah on campus today! Her name's Persia and she just converted this summer! I don't know her personally, but I'm planning on getting to know her, especially since we're the few muslimah's on campus (that we know of anyway).

I met with my Student Activities friend Mr. Stevens today, and he is helping me getting my campus group M.O.S.U. (Muslims Of 'SU) started. It won't be recognized as an actual club until next semester Insha'allah, but at least I'll have it started!

Ramadan && Minor Set back

I haven't posted in a few days because I was moving in and preparing for school. I'm finally here, Alhamdulillah! I start classes tomorrow. Ramadan has been a tiny challenge for me because I love to eat and I'm an emotional eater, so during the day there's a lot on my mind, and I want to eat, but insha'allah I have been managing and Allah will make it easy for me.

Before school my hijabs were taken from me, due to people's personal feelings about them and about me wearing them at school. I am broken, but not destroyed. I will still be a proud modest Muslim, minus my hijabs. It's just a minor set back, it won't stop me from praying, fasting and so forth, I'll just have to replace them when I get some money. Without my hijabs, it does kind of alter the depth of my blogs though because I was looking forward to sharing my experience on campus with my hijabs with my readers.

I might not be writing as often, but keep checking in!

--B. Alula

Why such a Big Deal?

It really bothers me that people are bothered about me wearing "that thing on my head". That thing on my head is properly called a Hijab. In my opinion, there is nothing negative about a hijab. Many people have worn their own type of hijab and many still are today. Mary and other biblical figures wore a form of "hijab". Nuns wear certain clothes, dress modest and wear a form of "hijab". No one looks at a nun crazy or as being oppressed, so why do they look at muslimahs crazy and oppressed?

A hijab does not change the person underneath it, it just changes their physical appearance. I know it will take some getting used to for my family, friends and teachers, but why is it such a big deal? I will still be the silly, fun loving, smart, friendly girl that I was when people met me. I don't understand why others can't see that.

If you think about it, a hijab has the same effect as if I got in a car accident and lost a leg, if I was burned in a house fire, or if I dyed my hair pink or something. I am physically and somewhat mentally and emotionally changed, but it doesn't take away from the wonderful person that I am on the inside and the wonderful friend I've been for years. A hijab doesn't take away from my talents in art, poetry, computers or music. Hijab doesn't take away my goals and my passion in life to succeed. So why is it so controversial?

-- B. Alula [a proud hijabi]

Choices.

Today my mother sat me down for a serious talk about my decision to convert to Islam. She asked me was I really, honestly ready to be discriminated against and be a part of the minority on campus. She asked me if I was ready to lose my "friends"?

I have thought about all of these things, and I am ready. I feel as though I'm already discriminated against everyday because I'm black, I'm young, and I'm a female. So I'm sure you're thinking, being black is hard enough, why chose to be Muslim on top of that? Because I don't care! I have never cared what others have thought about me. People and friends come and go everyday and their opinions will stay the same regardless of my race, religion or sex, that's the sad truth about America. For this country to be so free, it's the most one minded and judgemental country and it angers me so much. I was born different and I will always be different, that is just me, and I'm proud of that.

If I lose friends, family members, and positions than so be it. These people obviously are one minded and they weren't real with me to begin with. No one should stop speaking to me because of my religion. I am the same person they met and got to know and become friends with way before I discovered Islam, just more mature and religious. I am the same little girl that they were praying for in the hospital 20 years ago to have a chance at life and to make it through my heart surgeries. I am the same co-worker, student, classmate and club member. Islam has not changed who I am in any negative way. I just look, speak, and act differently than I used to and in reality, no matter what religion, I was a sinner! I have nothing against Christianity, I tried Christianity, it just wasn't for me and that is my personal right and decision as a human being!

I should not have to chose between Allah, my family or my friends. My only choice should be Allah. In the end, it will be no one but he and I. My "friends" won't be there, my "family" won't be there, just I. I have to make decisions for myself and my faith and my happiness! If I was christian, my family would never question me and my decision. They would never make me chose between God and others, he would be the only answer. So I stand firm to my faith and my belief, even if I stand alone and I chose, ALLAH!

Subhan wa ta 'ala; Allahu akbar!!

-- B. Alula

Muslimah2Muslimah Interview

Salaams.
Muslimah2Muslimah interviewed me today and I consider it an honor. Shukran ladies! The interview is going to post August 11. Check it out, it's a good one!

Muslimah2Muslimah: http://www.muslimah2muslimah.com/
-- B. Alula

Shopping!

Great news! I finally got myself some hijabs! It took forever, but great things come to those who wait. I got a 12 pack of assorted color pashmina hijabs, a black and a white under scarf, and some black and white pins. Along with those items, I got some shirts and sweaters. I'm ecstatic! There will be a proud, confident, fashionable, and disciplined muslimah on campus.

-- B. Alula

Haters are Motivators

Today was another interesting opinionated day for me. I am aware that everyone in the world may not agree with my decision to become a muslim, and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but there are certain ways this very opinionated person should have gone about it. There's this case going on in my state of these men being arrested for terrorism. So this individual stated to me that, "I would be arrested with the terrorist" and " I should be careful what I chose to believe and associate myself with". The comments were so ignorant and judgemental that I didn't even chose to comment. Then this individual preceded to say that "I don't know anything about muslims or being muslim". Still, I ignored the individual. Believe me it got me heated, but I saved it for my blog.

I am so glad that i am diverse. I am open to all people, and it's sad the rest of the world isn't and they chose to make ignorant comments about people and things they don't understand. There are so many types of muslims. All muslims aren't terrorist. All muslims cannot be blamed for the actions of 3-5 individuals. Islam is a religion of peace! Muslims aren't even the first group to perform acts of violence in the name of God or their religion. There were many religions before them. If you really want to get technical, look up some facts.. read a book!

I don't claim to know everything about Islam. I converted 5 months ago, but I have done more than enough research. I know as much as I need to know for my comfort and for me to have made a decision to convert. My head is always in a book! I am learning something new everyday about Islam, and luckily I have sisters (muslimahs) that are nice enough to help me out and give me words of advice as well as new material to research. I'm not sweating it though, because I'll let my haters be my motivators. I will prove them wrong and walk around a proud, educated, loving and peaceful Muslimah!

Allahu Akbar! [watch "30 days: muslims and america" located on the bottom of my page, also found on youtube and hulu]

subscribe and read: http://minoritysurvival.blogspot.com/2009/08/confusion.html

-- B. Alula

Page update!

I added some new gadgets to my blog for those who visit and subscribe. I want to answer any questions anyone may have and allow you all to just make comments if you wish. So, check all that new stuff out!

Assalamu'alaikum!
--B. Alula

iHijab

Quitting the Skinny's

Modest Wish List

My Decision.

Asalaamu alaikum! It's been a while since i've written a blog, but i'm back with good news! I have been studying my deen very hard this summer and i've decided to make a lot of life changes-- for the better. I am going to devote myself to islam all the way, Masha' Allah! I feel so rejuvenated and excited about my new changes.

I've vowed to stop drinking, stop cursing, work on my anger, and wear hijab and modest clothing full time, Insha'Allah. I am very confident in my decisions. I feel a big weight off my shoulders. I feel knowledgeable enough and confident enough to wear hijab now and i'm very excited about that! I made this decision for myself, I want to wear my hijab with pride and I wanted to wait to wear my hijab until I could represent it well. I feel that I have reached that level. I am proud to be a muslimah and I want everyone to know and see that when they look at me. I no longer care how it may effect the people I associate myself with because if they think or treat me differently, they obviously weren't real to begin with and I have no need to be associated with them any longer.

I have a whole new attitude and outlook on life and my deen and i'm just so full of joy, Alhumdulilah!
-- B. Alula

Converting.

So, if you know me personally then you know-- i wasn't born muslim. i'm writing this post to answer all the question's i've been getting about it && to clear the air on the whole situation.

I decided to convert to islam and become a muslim when i was at school back in march. this all came about in Dr. Booker's african american studies class. we were studying different scholars, parts of africa, the black family, etc. i became very interested in our lesson on islam and it's teachings. i have always loved Malcolm x && i was all about the black movement and black panthers-- even though all those things combined don't have to do with islam nor being a muslim. my cousin rasheeda is the only muslim i knew previous to my conversion && we didn't talk about it in as much depth as i'd wanted in class so, i ventured out on my own on the internet && in the library; researching.

After reading about the teachings and more about the religion, i made the decision to convert. everyday i was either in a book, talking to a muslim, or researching on the internet to become knowledgeable of the religion && the people. i have learned the prayers-- although not in arabic; && i took the steps i needed to take to convert. i just recently found two mosque in NC that i plan on attending when i'm home, but i'm definitely going to try to find one closer to school. now i'm not claiming to know everything, but i have a lot of people around me that are helping me the best that they can && teaching me what they know. i'm learning something new everyday.

Everyone has been asking me about my name-- Alula; it means first born. i know everyone isn't going to call me by Alula because it's new. i've been Brittany for twenty years && i have more than enough nicknames that people call me on campus or in the street, but it's all good. the hijab and i are in deep though && a difficult position [hijab is the covering worn on the head btw.] due to my mother && my friends. my dad can't stand me in a scarf or not having my hair done && i don't want to put anyone in an awkward position when they're out with me, but i feel like if i'm going to commit to the deen [religion] i need to go all the way. most muslimah's wear their hijab in pride, yet i have no one around me who understands that so they feel shamed or embarrassed to be seen with me wearing it. so for now i'm not wearing a hijab becuase i'm in my parent's home for the summer && i don't want to disrespect them as well as the fact that i have no money to buy hijab's online.

hopefully this answered/explained any questions or concerns. if there's more; feel free to ask.

-- B. Alula